Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Everybody loves the cops. All throughout history literature and TV has served to conjure an image of those fuzzy men with their cuddly bullet-proof vests coming to the rescue of innocent bystanders being trapped in a stand-off between escaped convicts and their rap-singing beat-boxing entourages.
Here we see the brave men of THIRTY-EIGHT-DASH-TWO squad car, meaning they tore all the way from Prectinct 38 on Prince Arthur to come to the rescue of the residents under seige at the corner of Duluth and St. Urbain some time recently (actual date can be had by calling the precinct)
This reporter was on hand for the incident. The audio feed is so bad we cannot run it here, but the opening dialog went something like this: COP ON LEFT--Heh, hostie, c'est ca avec le kodak! (transl: hey man, that's enough with the camera, we got lives to save, this ain't no public spectacle)
What has now been cemented in the memories of the Plateau residents in the area as THE SEIGE OF DULUTH almost got off to a rocky truce as the COP ON LEFT got bogged down with our cameraman.
Here we see the hoodlums of the DULUTH CREW getting sent inside, and off the street for their own safety. A call had been sent out that the street had been full of people walking around with beers in their hands-- and that the neighbours felt they could not safely leave their homes in fear of some kind of interaction with these beer-holders. (t-shirt on one of them said 'beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder etc')
Eyewitnesses who refused to change their name for fear of being ignored by the masses reported that only ONE person had been carrying a beer, and that it was in fact a Root Beer. Now, in Quebec, Root Beer is called "Racinette" from the word "racine" meaning root in English. Therefore, we can unequivocally declare that the cops from Precinct 38 are RACINEST.
Spokesmen from Precinct 38 were not called for comment, under the presumption we would be giving over a huge portion of our spotlight to them, of which enough has already been granted (what with the glamour shot of the starsky and hutch in drag, above.) This has also given us more control on how we wanted to present the story, since Cops want to get all specific on time and dates and that sort of bollocks.
More updates to follow! Keep spreading the good news. Send a copy of this blog to your friends!